Outwitting Curses
by Chanae7
Summary: Mika is an unusual princess. Yes she is very proud, and haughty, but she is also brilliant. The problem is she knows it too. But one encounter with a bizarre and eccentric witch may change her life forever. P.S. I would love your feedback in reviews!
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so I admit it. I was intelligent and I knew it. But is it_ my _fault, that everyone one has to get so huffy, because I point out their mistakes and maybe criticize, just a tiny bit? I think not. I mean look at my name, Mika Inglebert. Mika alone says I am an intelligent raccoon, lets just forget that it says _raccoon _and focus on_ intelligent_…. And for Inglebert, yes I know not a pretty name, it means unusually intelligent, and angel-bright. But _no_, people can't seem to swallow the depth and meaning of my name. Instead they call me insolent and smart-alec.

I have another confession. I am a princess. Princess Mika Inglebert of Sorcha, a region not to far from the Enchanted Forest. I mean _I_ feel the title fits. Excluding the common belief that all royals are birdbrains. But _I _can light a new path for us royalty. All can follow my wondrous example, and of course I will be their queen. At least these were the bright plans dancing in my head, before _she_ came. Stupid, bothersome witches.

A few days ago, I was riding _away_ from my kingdom, annoyed with the overflowing ignorance. I needed some time alone. So I went to the Enchanted Forest. Unfortunately with a few detours, you see even my _horse_ is stupid. It can't even find its way through a forest! So what if it is a forest that is enchanted to move around and confuse! I could do it easily myself. Which, of course, I did. It took us almost all day just to get to a pond. Of course it we probably never would have found it if it weren't for me.

Well anyway, that's when it all started. I had been exhausted and so I sat down on a rock, and cupped my hands for a drink of water. As I looked down into the pool, I saw a reflection of a witch. If you could call it that. You see she seemed to be a little confused. Okay a _lot_. First of all she had a hole in the top of her pointy hat, which wasn't black but _yellow_, through which a brown ponytail fanned out. It gave her quite the impression of a confused pineapple. Second of all she had stains showered all over her robe. Yuck. And even though it went against my instinct, I greeted her kindly like this:

"Greetings, witch! You, might not have noticed, but I think you may have spilled something on your robe." It was perfectly pleasant, and friendly. But the witch's face turned various shades of color before she answered.

"For your information, those are not stains, but magically produced spots, in which I can store magic. And _I_ think it is rather stylish."

_Magical spots? Stylish?! This one is even dumber than the ones at home! Can she really not see how ugly and gross it looks?!_ Unfortunately it took a moment for me to realize that I had said this out loud. But did she have to blow up at the simple truth?! Apparently she thought so.

"How dare you insult me! You pathetic spoiled princess!"

All I did was glare, wishing that I could smash her pineapple head in a little.

"Yyyou—"

"I what? Perhaps… I am more intelligent? Brighter than dull-witted you?" I couldn't help the words coming out.

"YOU SHALL BE CURSED!"

Oh. No it wasn't what I had been expecting, but I hid it well.

"Oh no! What will I ever **do?**" I said sarcasm now dripping.

Then it happened. Next thing I knew she was speaking quick rhymed words.

"_Take away the smart-alec in the brat. Let her respect every pointed hat. Every man and women that comes. Her insolence, and haughtiness shall hum. When she talks her arrogance shall remain. But her brain will be filled with air and she will feel less vain. When the time comes, that she can respect one, she must earn it back. The only way to achieve this is for haughtiness and criticism to lack."_

And with a final smirk and flourish she disappeared. So now here a few days later I am wandering around the Enchanted Forest. I tried going in to town yesterday, but people veered off as they sensed my personality. One actually talked to me and sure enough, although my thoughts stayed intelligent, my words came out empty, childish, and ignorant. That person didn't talk to me for long. So I decided to come here and think things out.

There must be a way to outsmart my curse. A loophole, or a twist of words, something, _anything._ _I have the brains to figure it out._ But I admit, I have gotten kind of tired of telling myself that for the past couple days. But don't take me wrong, I will find a way out. No pineapple head witch, with a black "spotted" robe can beat me. Her words ran through my mind for the hundredth time:

_Take away the smart-alec in the brat. Let her respect every pointed hat. Every man and women that comes. Her insolence, and haughtiness shall hum. When she talks her arrogance shall remain. But her brain will be filled with air and she will feel less vain. When the time comes, that she can respect one, she must earn it back. The only way to achieve this is for haughtiness and criticism to lack._

Wow they weren't even creative. Quite repetitive, just using a bunch of words that all pretty much meant the same thing. And then the theatrics she used. Oh, brother! I rolled my eyes, thinking about how she had waved her hand about my head and clutched her chest, her voice comically high pitched with anger. It was almost worth it to be cursed, just to remember her pathetic actions. I giggled quietly to myself, until my horse looked at me through the corner of its eye. I stopped suddenly feeling self-conscious, so what if it is a horse? Maybe it's a prince in cursed-form, just waiting to start rumors about me. My giggles instantly subsided.

Now then back to _my_ curse. _I will find a way!_


	2. Chapter 2

O.W. Chapter 2

Meeting my match…in a _frog_

That night I had trouble sleeping. You could never know how infuriating it is for me, to know what to say, as I always have, and _not be able to say it._ I had scratched the words of her curse on a rock, and had spent hours pouring over them. There was no way out. _Unless I come to respect someone and they respect me back, and I lose criticisms and arrogance._ I snorted out loud. Who was she calling arrogant? And she deserved to be criticized, she was like a walking disagreement. Well I had always been one to prove what others thought impossible. Why should now be an exception?

With a sigh, which I meant to sound tired in a dignified way, came out more like breath trying to fog up a window. _I can't even sigh normally!_ How incredibly frustrating. _Then again I better test out how far this curse exceeds._ Carefully I aimed a kick at a rock in front of me, I had been sure it would hit it dead center and send it flying. Or not. Instead I did a sort of odd back flip and landed tailbone on the rock. A little painful. Ooo, I would get back at that witch! Deciding I should get some water to cool myself down, I turned to my horse, planning to ride her to the pond. Only to find that she was asleep, and determinedly so. I thought about pushing her for a moment to wake her up, then decided against it. For all I knew I might end up rolling over her into some mud. Or something. _Well then I'll just walk there!_

I reached the pond after a small stretch of time and sat on a rock and observed my surroundings. The land around the pond was boggy and wet. The few plants that managed to live in the sticky mud, were ugly and looked on the verge of choking. _So much for the Enchanted Forest being "enchanting"._ Feeling better to find something that was worse off than me I laid back on the stone. Contentedly, I composed a song about myself, and my victories. I decided that once I broke my curse, and became queen, every man, woman, and child would learn my song and sing it daily.

_There stood the girl, intelligent and beautiful in her prime. Never lost in a logic game, winning bets and gladly taking in every dime. She was admired, and looked up too. Oh, who else could always seem so fresh and new!? The jealous peasants, cringed as she swept them away with a delicate hand. "Only for your ignorance, and refusal to fully appreciate me, are you banned." As she walked she seemed to float in grace. Her mind could defeat all, __**and**__ she looked good in lace. But tell why must I say she? Because in reality, this wondrous, intelligent, beautiful person is me!_

With my eyes closed I began to sing my song. I only realized too late what the outcome would be. But once I started, the curse seemed to make me unable to stop, as if to mock my state.

_There stood a girl, an "intelligent" raccoon and child in her time. She played and lost to a witch's game, and lost every single dime. She was wired and to see her one had to look __**down **__to_. _Oh, who else could have brains so few? The pitying peasants took her in, but she swept them away with an unacknowledging and proud hand. Says the peasants to her "Only for you ignorance and pride are you banned." As she walked she seemed to stumble in her so-called grace. Her mind was defeated in all, her brain, they reasoned, must have been made of lace. But why must I tell of she? Because I have won and she will learn because of me._

_So the witch has a sense of humor too. She has to get the last word, so she twists mine into a ridiculous parody._

"Oh, hahaha! That was priceless! I used to know someone just like that! Great song, great song!"

I opened my eyes in shock, I swept my eyes around the clearing, but I failed to find the source of the voice as it continued.

"Oh, you are looking the wrong way, I suggest you try _downwards_."

I fixed a glare on my face as I searched for the…thing. Then I found it. _Unbelievable._

_"_Ah, you found me! Congratulations!" It waved a webbed foot, mockingly. If you have not already figured, as I would have right away, it was a frog.

_A frog! Just what I need a frog. NOT._ I opened my mouth to speak, a big mistake.

"Why you despicable…wait what are you called again? Piranha? Ferret? Oh, I got it, you're a toad! No…that's not quite right."

"I believe the word you are looking for is _frog_." If a frog could look smug I promise you this one did.

"That's what I meant! How dare you…you…TALK!"

"Ooo, I must admit I almost blinked at that insult!"

_Just keep your mouth shut, maybe he will go away. _I tried to glare haughtily and look unaffected at the same time. Something only _I_ could achieve. But the frog ignored this and continued its blabbering. It sounded more stupid than my cursed words.

"So let me introduce myself. I am Prince Fredrick Peter Kuthgnaoclout II. Believe me, it's a long name, but it has _amazing_ results."

_Ha! A prince? I doubt this frog was ever a prince._ And the fact that it was so smug and arrogant was getting quite on my nerves. And yet his tone seemed hauntingly familiar. _Its because you adopt the same tone. The witch was right, you are just a conceited, arr--._ I cut that thought off quickly, with anger. So she was trying to guilt trip me huh? _WELL I'M NOT FALLING FOR IT._

"Oh, I was such a wonderful prince. "I don't blame those admiring glances I received daily. I deserved them. Oh, how I would love to be a prince again." The frog looked at her in an examining way. "You aren't much of a talker are you? I guess you decided that one with your brains could never have an intelligent conversation. Quite a good decision, I must say."

_Oh how I would love to separate those webbed toes and sink this fool on a lily pad! And with all of those pimples, he __**could**__ be a toad!_ Oh I had to laugh. I am just _too_ funny!

"What you find my life amusing? Well _you _can't be much, a peasant, or servant no doubt?"

I couldn't stay silent anymore.

"I am a…you know! One of those girls with the frilly dresses and a castle? A p-p-preenie? Oh! I can never pronounce it! I don't waste my time with such… lousy details."

I inwardly groaned. I should have kept my mouth shut. One of those girls with frilly dresses? A _preenie?!_ Oh brother, what a stupid curse! That little pineapple-headed, magic riddled, so called "witch"!

"Are you attempting to say _princess?_"The frog doubled up with laughter. "You?! A PRINCESS? Oh, haha that is too good. You must be joking! Ahaha, good sense of humor, I must admit. However…maybe we could fool the witch's curse! You see I was cursed into a frog by this witch that had a ridiculous yellow, pointed hat. She never told me how to break my curse…Now that I think about it I can't remember anything until _after_ the fact. I wonder why she cursed me…? Oh well, that is not the problem right now. Ok so, with the whole typical frog-curse bit, one has to be kissed by a princess right? So if we just train you…maybe get you some better clothes, we could fool her curse! It might take you as a princess. So then _princess_, how about a kiss?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Wait, like, huh? WHAT?" I said stumbling over my choice of words.

"What is with the confusion? It seems perfectly logical to me, if anything I'll be helping you." The frog responded, observing a fly in apparent interest.

"Like, wow, that is like, so… _bogus_!" I groaned inwardly at my exclamation, but continued anyway. ""First you well, like call me stuff, and say how I must be a peasant, and _then_ make fun of me when I tell you what I really am? And like what, you think you are just King Mendanbar or something? To say, maybe just, _maybe_ I can pull off being a princess, and then _kiss_ you? What do you think I'm stupid or something? Do you think I have no pride? That I like, can't add two and two or something?"

"Tell me what is the result of that?"

Even my intelligent thoughts were confused by that. _What is he talking about?_

"What? Don't like just change the subject on me. It hurts my brain." _It hurts my brain_. Oh dear, stupidity will kill me some day.

"Two and two? What does that add up to?"

_Why that little pompous jerk! He really thinks I can't add two and two!_

"It equals five of course." I said quite haughtily, but my insides squirmed with the mistake. _Four not five! I'll track down that witch, and she'll be eating not just her own words, but __**mine too**__._

"Ah, yes I expected as much. Oh, I think the role might just work for you. I don't know _how_ but people seem to think all royalty ignorant and stupid.' The frog sniffed disdainfully. "However since the public takes that view, naturally the curse would have the same opinion. So your little bird brain may come in to use. A first I'm sure."

_Just walk away, just walk away._ Or so my brain said, but my body was too amazed to have anyone insulting me and talking to me in such a way. This was something that _never_ happened to me. Well at least not until…you know.

"All right, first we will give you a name. It needs to be regal but delicate…How about Lucille? Yes, yes. Princess Lucille Dubwua of Quositos. Hmmm, has a nice ring doesn't it?"

I was just about ready to fire back at him, which the curse probably would have turned into a foot-stomping tantrum, but then an idea sparked, in my mind.

"Tell you what ferret--"

"_Frog_"

"Whatever. Same thing, they both have toes don't they? Anyway, I'll help you but you like have to help me. You know, I groom you, you groom me?"

"Are you now under the impression that I am a monkey? I think we might need Morwen to straighten you out! How did I know that name…?"

I interrupted this unnecessary babble, naturally.

"Just listen to me—"

"By the way I think you meant you rub my back I rub yours."

"WILL YOU STOP INTERRUPTING ME!?"

"Whatever you say, _your highness_."

_He is just trying to get a reaction. Just ignore him._ Or so I would have if it weren't for a certain cursed mouth of mine.

"You know what!? I am like sick of your smart remarks!" _Hmm at least it didn't __**sound**__too stupid._

"Yes, yes I can imagine how 'smart' remarks would annoy a person with an unimaginable amount of stupidity as you."

_That does it._ I stalked away, my head raised haughtily.

"Wait! I'll still allow you to assist me! I _have_ to break this curse! Oh, dear me and my big mouth. Can't you just _forget_ what I said? I mean I doubt forgetting is exactly _beyond_ your abilities. Quite the contrary actually. Opps, there I go again. Please can you come back? FINE DON'T COME BACK STUPID PEASANT!"

_I think you are the one sounding stupid in this case._ I simply walked on ignoring the frogs pleads/"accidental" insults.

* * *

I sat once again in my little shelter of the Enchanted Forest, where my horse still slept. _Just like I left him_. I snorted contemptuously, but I knew my anger was fueled by the frog, my horse just added to it. As I reviewed the day's events I found myself regretting it more and more. _I could have made that frog work for my advantage._ The idea that had sparked in my mind earlier, was actually quite brilliant, if I may say so myself. When the frog had been rambling about how he had been cursed, I had been too angry and surprised to really pay attention to what he had been saying. But when I was about to refuse him it had all come flowing back to me. "_You see I was cursed into a frog by this witch that had a ridiculous yellow, pointed hat."_ It was really obvious, but I had been clouded by my own thoughts to realize, this frog was, or _believed to be_, cursed by _the same witch!_

I admit I haven't spent much time in the Enchanted Forest throughout my life, but I know enough to know that the witches dwelled here, mostly stuck to the typical witch outlook. I mean okay I have heard _stories_ of witches that were quite well odd (there was one who did the most _unusual_ curses) but I had never heard of any other witch with a _yellow_ hat. But of course _I_ hadn't needed all of this contemplation to decide that it was the same witch. But as for _how_ the frog could help me, it truly was sheer brilliance. I would simply _add_ to what he believed what his curse's cure was. Let me first inform you that I have always been quite skilled at trickery, there are few qualities in which I lack. I had planned on telling him, that when I said for him to rub my back and I, his, I meant this is just what his curse required. Not only would he need a princess to kiss him, but he would also have to rid them of any distress. You know the whole damsel in distress bit. In which _my_ case would be finding the witch, and forcing her to take back her curse. It was perfect. But then I blew it. Or rather my curse blew it.

_Maybe it can still work_.

"What work? You have work? Work to do?

I was startled to realize once again I spoke my thoughts aloud. I was even more surprised to have a golden lizard commenting. _Haven't I had enough of talking reptiles for the day?_

"You said work? Work to do?" The lizard prompted.

"Yes, who are you, like I mean you shouldn't scare people like that. You and that ferret. Oh, I mean toad. I've had enough." I was starting to get used to ignoring how stupid my statements sounded and well, _were_.

"Ferret? Toad? I do not. Do not know what that might be about. As for me. Suz and I want to know what there is to-do?"

I _had_ planned on getting rid of this "Suz" (whom I vaguely seem to remember hearing about) and to go on brooding. But apparently it was not to be so. You can guess why. Before I could stop myself, I was disgusted with myself, as I told Suz everything. And I mean _everything_.

After I was done I eyed Suz quizzically, daring him to say something stupid, I guess I've decided that only _I_ am allowed to do.

"Ah, that is a lot of to-do. What could Suz do?"

I let the lizard answer his own question.

"I know! I'll find the ferret for you!" And in an instant he was gone.

_Great_. I just realized that while explaining to Suz my situation, I called the frog a ferret, _again_. _Well at least it got rid of him_. But I felt a twinge of guilt, realizing that the lizard would be searching for a ferret that indeed was a frog. Or is he a prince? Oh, _whatever!_ I decided, partially after noticing the sun beginning to sink in the sky, that I better get to sleep, before my thought _also_ became unintelligent.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke the next morning determined I would find that despicable frog. I elbowed my horse to wake it, but it was of little use. I glared scornfully at it. _Well I'll have better luck finding him myself anyway._ I splashed some water onto my face to help waken my senses. After giving my so-called steed another contemptuous look, I got up to start my search.

A few minutes later, after much trudging and shoving of branches, I found myself in the middle of thick green foliage—which is far from significant because that is how all of the forest is. _I am __**not**__lost, I am simply taking a detour. _I turned in a full circle. Everything looked the same. _Stupid witch_. I glared at the trunk nearest me, trying to decide which direction would be best from here. As I was carefully contemplating a new route I heard an unmistakable ribbet.

"Ribbet." I looked down. There sat the frog. I _told_ you I wasn't lost.

"Ah, I have good news for you frog, I have decided that you can help me." I said with dignity. _Hmm. My speech today hasn't been altered by the witch yet._ I was beginning to feel a little suspicious at this realization. I was no fool, I knew the curse was not yet broken. I glared at the frog and repeated myself.

"Did you not hear me? I _said_ that you can help me." The insolent reptile blinked and said _ribbet_.

"Oh I see. So now you are just going to ignore me and pretend you can't talk huh? I mean I know you're a dumb animal but _really_! Aren't we being a little immature here?" I said heatedly. "Look who the smart royal is now, huh?" I wasn't sure how that related but it sounded good and snarky.

"Oh. And I guess that would be you would it?" I expected the voice to come from in front of me but alas it came from behind. I turned around. It was the frog. But not the one I was just talking to. Which means...My face reddened. How dare that witch humiliate me! The talking frog snickered—how that is possible I'm not quite sure.

"Yes, yes. I can see you are in desperate need when you start pouring out your troubles to poor animals that do not understand a word you are saying. But it is really quite unfair when you begin venting on the poor creatures and letting your anger lash out at them." While he spoke, all I thought of was a nice large predator coming with an open mouth and a hungry appetite for a frog…

"However if you apologize to the victim of your anger I will consider allowing you to kiss me." The frog said proudly, if it is possible for a frog to be proud. I looked at the other frog in disgust.

"Yeah. Like that's going to happen."

"Ah , but it is." I snorted but, thanks to a certain cloth-headed witch, I could not think of what else to do. Thus, I turned to the other frog and muttered something that sounded like it could pass for an apology. Thankfully, neither frog didn't really seem to care about the sincerity of my apology and were both content with responding ribbet of the so-called victim.

"Well, now that you have voiced your regrets I will allow you to kiss me, but only after we make you appear to be a princess. Your bird-brain fits the part well, and the whole talking-to-creatures-who-can't-talk-back fits quite nicely with the stereotype that are given royalty—with the exclusion of _me_ of course. As far as your looks…oy. People believe princesses to be dumb and beautiful—and while you certainly have the former going for you we _must_ work on the latter. At the moment you look like a mop caught in a hurricane. Ah it's a pity not all can have the good lucks that people like I have. But with my brains we will succeed. I never fail. Even in your desperate case. It will, however, take time, money, and much better clothes. Oh. And a hairbrush. _Definitely_ a hairbrush."

I stared at the frog in disbelief, rage, malice, and emotions quickly spinning out of control. What an arrogant, jealous little prick! How dare he insult my intelligence (which is clearly _far_ above his) and my appearance (which is impossible to criticize this is me remember)? And to talk as if I was _privileged_ to receive such insults! He was as bad as that witch! The only difference was his numerous brown spots were pimples. Pimples? I didn't know frogs had pimples…hm. What if the frog wasn't a frog but in fact a toad? No one (not even that bothersome witch) would turn a prince into a _toad_, that just went against tradition, and witches weren't ones to fool with tradition. What if I were to go along with this infuriating reptiles plan, reap the benefits from it—and it would backfire on him!

I allowed myself a twisted smile. Ah, what a glorious mind I have! Even with this stupidity curse my wits are still about me. Energy began to revive my limbs as I thought of my brilliant plan, meanwhile the reptile continued it's babbling.

"I'd say, overall, you need a complete makeover. Now _princess_ are you ready to start?"

My smile widened. Oh, if only he knew.


End file.
